Dear Millennial EDM Expert Still Living with Parents Because the System is Rigged Against You,
It’s time to put down your glow sticks, neon tights, and molly so you can finally do something useful with your lazy existence. Try popping this list of guitar gods from the Gears of Rock before walking down to your corner vape shop. Because here, you will find the most valuable guitar players in hard rock and heavy metal history. This listing is not necessarily ranked according to technical prowess or neoclassical shredding ability. We take into account the role of the guitarist within his or her band; the quality of songs and albums released; longevity of career; stage presence and persona; lasting legacy and reception; and finally, whether or not they are a d*ck.
Without further ado here is the Top 100 All-Time Best Guitarists of Hard Rock and Heavy Metal. Please spew your bloody vomit below. Tell us how terrible this guitar god list is, how your opinion is better than everyone else’s, then frenetically wait to see if any other trolls care to spit on your spew. I know my dog’s sphincter is dying to hear all of your thoughts.
Insincerely up yours,
The Management
P.S. Certain guitar tandems are counted very close to one another on the list while others are arbitrarily ranked further down, or not at all. Either way, this listing of amazing guitarists of rock falls somewhere between space garbage and martian dung. Godspeed.
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- Tony Iommi – Black Sabbath
- Eddie Van Halen – Van Halen
- Angus Young – AC/DC
- Adrian Smith – Iron Maiden
- Dave Murray – Iron Maiden
- Zakk Wylde – Ozzy Osbourne and Black Label Society
- Randy Rhoads – Ozzy Osbourne
- Jimmy Page – Led Zeppelin
- Dave Mustaine – Megadeth
- Slash – Guns N’ Roses
- Kirk Hammett – Metallica
- Dimebag Darrell – Pantera
- John Petrucci – Dream Theater
- Joe Perry – Aerosmith
- Paul Gilbert – Mr. Big and Racer X
- Jeff Hanneman – Slayer
- Kerry King – Slayer
- Brian May – Queen
- Steve Vai – David Lee Roth
- Ritchie Blackmore – Deep Purple and Rainbow
- Marty Friedman – Megadeth and Cacophony
- James Hetfield – Metallica
- Synyster Gates – Avenged Sevenfold
- Nuno Bettencourt – Extreme
- Joe Satriani – Chickenfoot
- Adam Jones – Tool
- Yngwie Malmsteen – Yngwie Malmsteen
- Ace Frehley – Kiss
- Michael Schenker – UFO
- John 5 – Rob Zombie, Marilyn Manson, and David Lee Roth
- Scott Gorham and Brian Robertson – Thin Lizzy
- Chuck Schuldiner – Death
- George Lynch – Dokken
- Alex Lifeson – Rush
- Uli Jon Roth – Scorpions
- Rudolph Schenker – Scorpions
- Gary Holt – Exodus and Slayer
- Frank Hannon – Tesla
- Paul Stanley – Kiss
- Tom Morello – Rage Against The Machine and Audioslave
- Jake E. Lee – Ozzy Osbourne
- Ty Tabor – King’s X
- Mark Morton – Lamb of God
- Alex Skolnick – Testament
- Vernon Reid – Living Colour
- Jason Becker – Cacophony and David Lee Roth
- Alexi Laiho – Children of Bodom
- Daron Malakian – System of a Down
- Jeff Loomis – Nevermore and Arch Enemy
- K.K. Downing – Judas Priest
- Glenn Tipton – Judas Priest
- Glen Buxton – Alice Cooper
- Phil Collen – Def Leppard
- Malcolm Young – AC/DC
- Ted Nugent – Ted Nugent
- John Sykes – Whitesnake
- Andreas Kisser – Sepultura
- Jim Root – Slipknot
- Mick Thomson – Slipknot
- Michael Wilton – Queensryche
- Chris Degarmo – Queensryche
- Brad Whitford – Aerosmith
- Janick Gers – Iron Maiden
- Mike McCready – Pearl Jam
- Vic Johnson – Sammy Hagar
- Andy LaRocque – King Diamond
- Jerry Cantrell – Alice in Chains
- Will Adler – Lamb of God
- C.C. Deville – Poison
- Mikael Akerfeldt – Opeth
- Peter Lindgren – Opeth
- Eddie Clarke – Motorhead
- Sammy Hagar – Sammy Hagar
- Scott Ian – Anthrax
- Mick Mars – Motley Crue
- James Shaffer and Brian Welch – Korn
- Richie Sambora – Bon Jovi
- Zacky Vengeance – Avenged Sevenfold
- Dean DeLeo – Stone Temple Pilots
- Warren DeMartini – Ratt
- Phil Demmel – Machine Head
- Rich Ward – Stuck Mojo and Fozzy
- Stephen Carpenter – Deftones
- Eddie Ojeda – Twisted Sister
- Dino Cazares – Fear Factory
- Kim Thayil – Soundgarden
- Ronnie Montrose – Montrose
- Jim Martin – Faith No More
- Rob Caggiano – Volbeat, Anthrax, The Damned Things
- Akira Takasaki – Loudness
- Mark Tremonti – Tremonti and Alter Bridge
- Woody Weatherman – Corrosion of Conformity
- Pepper Keenan – Corrosion of Conformity and Down
- Dan Donegan – Disturbed
- Dave Sabo – Skid Row
- Scotti Hill – Skid Row
- Kenny Hickey – Type-O-Negative
- Wes Borland – Limp Bizkit and Black Light Burns
- Mike Mushok – Staind, Newsted, and Saint Asonia
- Jay Jay French – Twisted Sister
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Thank you for reading the Gears of Rock’s Top 100 Guitarists of Hard Rock and Heavy Metal. Are there any glaring omissions? Yeah, thousands. Are any misplaced? About 99 percent of them, but we’ll take that 1 percent smidgen of perfection in stride. Later days Willie Mays Hays.